Why Prof. Smith is a Jackhole

Today is officially my last day of taking Human Sexuality under Prof. Smith.  Halle-frickin'lujah! 

Human Sexuality is probably the most popular course at the college I attend.  I have heard that as soon as registration starts, it rapidly fills up.  Rightfully so.  I mean, it is an advanced psychology credit.  The lectures are interesting and the subject matter is pretty intuitive so tests are pretty simple.  Basically it's a complete gimme class which is something I really needed this semester.  There are three professors that teach the course.  The female professor is widely regarded as one of the most interesting, enjoyable teachers on campus.  Unfortunately, she only had an evening and an online class which did not work for my schedule.  The two other professors are males and are not nearly as revered.  Using www.ratemyprofessor.com, I whittled it down to Prof. Smith who not only had classes at the most convenient times but also had a very high ranking.  I can't say I agree.

Prof. Smith is a bastard in so many ways that I probably can't cover them all but I will try:

He can be downright insulting to students asking questions.  If a question is obvious, he answers in a snarky way or sometimes not at all.  I am a big believer in not poking fun at people for not knowing.  Not everybody learns at the same speed so why should they get put down for it?

I realize this is a ridiculous claim but he's a pervert.  Yes, I know I am in a course about sex but one could teach it without randomly asking students the deepest most private details of their sex life.  I mean, he takes it overboard with saying completely inappropriate things to people.  He harassed a pregnant girl that sat in the front row, asking her if it was planned and she shyly nodded "no".  During the birth control chapter, he teased her about how she wished she had known that information prior to her pregnancy and even asked her about abortion.  Inappropriate!  He even made some off color comments to me during the birth control chapter when he found out I have an IUD.  He said that the copper in my IUD had oxidized and turned green, making my uterus green.  Really, man?  He also recants stories of his past students in embarrassing detail.  I now know about all the pregnancy scares and STIs that have happened in his family.  Despite this, people in class eagerly divulge personal information with great excitement.  Why do they let him get away with it?  He will tell anyone and everyone about your detailed and often times embarrassing stories freely.  He always says, "I don't give a shit."  Truer words have rarely been spoken.

The policy that really sticks in my craw is his insanely strict bathroom policies.  Smith simply does not allow you to go to the restroom during class.  In the beginning, he stated that if we had to excuse ourselves we would have to take our belongings with us as we would not be allowed to return to class.  Ok, I guess I can see where he is coming from.  A lot of people leave class for several minutes at a time under the guise of using the restroom when they actually are just going to chat on the phone.  Prof. Smith is my mother's age and has been teaching for close to as long, making him crotchety and set in his ways.  This system and rules of classroom decorum is something he has crafted in his some decades of teaching to the point where there is no room for improvement (in his mind).

I didn't realize the severe way Smith would react if a student attempted to use the restroom during class until one day.  A boy was sitting beside me jiggling his leg- a habit that drives me nuts.  When I glared at him, he apologized and said that he pretty desperately needed to use the restroom and he was holding it as close to the end of the class as possible.  I said that I was sure he'd be ok if he took his belongings and exited, making very little commotion.  He carefully attempted to leave the classroom until Smith called out, "Where the hell are you going?  Sit your ass back down and wait 'til the end of class."  Mortified, the poor guy returned to his seat to be in agony for the remainder of class.  Another time, a guy very politely asked if he could please use the restroom to which Smith replied, "No.  You don't do that in here."

Really?  What if it is an emergency?  How can someone effectively listen to a lecture when they are distracted by the undying need to go?  It could be worse.  Because of his stupid rules some poor soul could piss or shit themselves.  What if there is a student with serious kidney problems and holding it can be very detrimental?

The funny thing about it all is one of his sons does have serious kidney issues.  He waited for a transplant for a long time and was on dialysis for years.  You would think that someone who had been exposed to something so painful as his son's kidneys shutting down would have more sensitivity to people holding their bladders possibly leading to kidney problems.  But no.  He says if he can hold his bladder through class then we should be able to.  Everyone operates differently.  I thought he would know more about it considering how much of the anatomy and physiology he seems to know.

There are few true villains in life and he certainly isn't one.  Yes, he is an arrogant dick with questionable antics and policies but he has his good qualities.  His lectures are interesting and he has a way of making material completely relatable.  He also does informative panels where girls and guys who volunteer can answer questions posed by the class.  He's not one of those stick in the mud sex ed teachers that is always touting about abstinence as the answer to everything.  He encourages you to do whatever feels right, informing you about all the situations that can happen by doing so.  He's pretty accepting of people's sexual quirks and doesn't make you feel like a weirdo for having them.  He also encourages students to email him asking for sexual advice and promises to give knowledgeable answers.  His laugh is a little maniacal and always makes everyone else laugh. 

The class was a fine experience and he taught it well.  It also gave me something to complain about which- if you read my blog- is something I like to do.  That doesn't mean that I won't be having a celebratory drink or two to be rid of Prof. Smith forever.


I sincerely hope he doesn't see this post, recognize me from all the vague clues online and decide to downgrade me to a B.  I like to think I have some sense of anonymity here but what do I know?

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