A not so sexy lesbian night...

This is the story of how I met my oldest (not chronologically but the length of the friendship itself), dearest buddy.  I stress that not one of the girls involved in this story look anything like the girls in the picture above.

CT and I met through a friend who will be known as Sandy for the sake of this story.  CT and Sandy were inseparable in 8th and known not only for being hot girls but for being brazen and always loudly discussing sex.  This along with a penchant for partying gave the impression that they were easy.  While Sandy was quite promiscuous, CT was just an outspoken virgin that loved shocking people.  Sandy invited herself over to my house and amazed me with her wild tales.  As one of the key members of the nerd group, I needed to vicariously live through her rock and roll lifestyle.

Sandy's birthday was at the beginning of 9th and she was inviting a handful of close friends: another Lee, Danielle, CT and myself.  CT and I had been slowly getting to know each other.  We both were sporting bad dyejobs from the summer and had a fondness for the movie West Side Story.  I- of course- knew Sandy who had quickly bonded with other Lee who I only knew by association.  She seemed pleasant enough though on the white trash side (by my mother's standards a deciding factor against any association, so I noticed it).  All the girls knew Danielle but me.  I had heard nothing but how goddamn awesome she was.  Unlike Sandy, Danielle was really wild.  She was the chick who was out fucking, fighting and partying in elementary school.  This intimidated me.

Being incredibly shy, I don't really know why I went to that party.  I mean, I only knew Sandy well and she would be the center of attention.  But I went for a Friday night slumber party.  Because Sandy lived in a double wide on the outskirts of town, my mother reluctantly agreed to let me go but would definitely be picking me up very early the next morning.

I don't remember that much.  We made chitchat until Danielle showed.  She was scarier than I possibly could have imagined (and my mind can come up with all different kinds of scenarios).  While I have a deep voice, she sounded like a man.  She walked like a man when she wasn't shadowboxing and hopping around throwing gang signs.  She looked like a long, greasy haired, freckle faced boy going through puberty.  She was beyond loud and spewed the most idiotic wannabe tough talk.  The dynamic certainly shifted from people having a conversation to Sandy and other Lee lingering on Danielle's every word while CT and I tried to keep a straight face.  

"Pajama time!"  Sandy exclaimed and all but CT and I disrobed.  Seeing the shared look of discomfort on our faces, Sandy added.  "It's not a big deal.  It's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Well, I haven't seen your particular--" I began to say.

"Ya got the same shit!"  Danielle eloquently stated.

Sleeping arrangements were brought up.  Sandy's bed could accommodate three.  Her absent sister's room at the end of the hall had a bed and room for a sleeping bag on the floor.  CT and I simultaneously volunteered to take the sister's room and we grabbed our stuff and changed rooms.  And I couldn't help but notice a little disappointment at CT's departure.

CT insisted I take the bed and curled up under a pile of blankets.  We discussed life, love, music and books.  We were not only surprised at our common opinions but also our ease and comfort in relating to each other so soon.

All of a sudden, Danielle and other Lee burst through the door and appeared to be violently wrestling.  CT and and I watched them in a quiet state of shock.  It wasn't until they nearly trampled CT's tiny body on the floor that they got any reaction.  She sat upright and yelled at them to watch it.  This did not stop the fight.  Danielle wrested other Lee to the ground and then they broke apart laughing.  They explained that it was all in good fun like we would think it was the funniest thing we had ever seen.  We scowled in return.  Danielle told CT she had something "important" to tell CT in the other room.  Furious, CT told them no.

The next day, my mother picked me up bright and early as promised.  CT and I exchanged numbers and planned to see each other soon.  I had no idea what situation I left her in.

By CT's account, Danielle and Sandy finally cornered her in Sandy's room.  The previous evening Danielle and Sandy hooked up and were now an item.  (Danielle was a known bisexual and Sandy had been straight with, in my humble opinion,
some interest in CT previously).  They flirtatiously told CT that she was cute.  CT, in a state of shock and horror, smiled and nodded.  She had never been thrilled by Sandy's adoration and attempt to emulate her.  Having Danielle leering at her like a big, scary guy in prison made her feel like a piece of meat.  

They also confessed that other Lee was "cute" while she was showering.  They said they were thinking about initiating her into their little club.  CT assumed they were talking about this very Lee and was surprised that I would swing that way.  This led to some amusing confusion down the way that helped us learn to laugh about that night.

Sandy and Danielle were a short lived match.  Sandy really was always all about the cock and went back to her slutatious ways.  [Eventually, she met the perfect guy for her and has been with him for over a decade.]  

Danielle wasn't about being monogamous to Sandy and only incorporated other Lee into her lusty coven because her sights were on CT.  Alas, that was never to be.  I hear she's still in that white trash Louisiana town and has gone full butch.  She's still preying on the young and stupid who will be impressed by how tough she is.

CT and I have had a long, enduring friendship.  The end.

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