Oh, that Lakshmi...

Preface: Since I've had a car essentially without a radio, my options have been limited on what background noise I have to endure while I run my midday errands.  Many people have emphasized that many wonderful and engaging NPR programs are "just up [my] alley."  

I hated it for a while because I am not political.  I hate the voices.  I feel like nepotism has gotten most of the hosts their jobs because they don’t sound at all pleasing to the ear.  So what if I want a radio show and am jealous?  That does not negate the nasal shrillness of Ira Glass' voice or the mentally challenged muppet ring of Ira Plato's.  

I wouldn't say I like NPR now, per sé.  I tolerate it because my only other options are my own noisy thoughts and pop music which is just horrible currently.  I set the bar pretty low too.  I like Rednex' "Cotton Eye Joe" and "Ice Cream and Cake" by the Buckwheat Boyz kind of low.  Rihanna and Neon Trees are treats for me.  But, man, the absolute shit on during the day I cannot deal with.  NPR and I have come to an understanding.  It's informative and some of the shows *are* actually good.  I just have to tune in and out selectively.

As my schedule changes, so do the programs I am exposed to.  I was usually in the car for "Talk of the Nation" which has its moments.  Lately "All Things Considered" is what is on while I'm doing my driving errands.


Okay, here's what I wanted to say but had to preface:

So Lakshmi Singh is often a commentator on NPR afternoon programs along with Audie Cornish.  Just solely based on stupid shit about these women I built up characters in my mind.  My simple mind likes to put a face to the voice.  Lacking the desire to actually look up what these women look like, I pieced these pictures together:

Audie Cornish made me immediately think of the lovely Australian actress Abbie Cornish.  No, they don't sound alike.  It was simply for the similarity in their names.  

This is Abbie Cornish.

... and this is Audie...

Both are lovely women but I was wrong.  It's alright.  This idea of Audie Cornish was purely based on a name similar to one more familiar to me.  (I'm a big Candy and Bright Star fan.)


Lakshmi Singh, however, I got more of an impression of and not just a picture.  

I picture Lakshmi being a pretty young professional woman.  She has a confident yet at the same time tentative quality in her voice.  There is something strained in it, though.  Something that draws out certain words at certain times.  It can be grating but not in that Ira Glass way.  It is more like she is being subtly emphatic as to drill certain points into the listeners’ brain or tug at said listeners’ heartstrings.  I picture Lakshmi being slightly overweight but not in any way that would be considered gross or unappealing to the American public.  She dresses very well to the cursory glance: business casual.  Upon closer inspection, her clothes appear not quite put together.  There is a fraying hem.  Her pants may be pleated in a way unfashionable.  Her shirt may not be tucked in all the way.  Her hair is dishevelled as if someone grasped her by the crown of her head and shook her.  This tousles it but not in the “just had sex” way but the "I was just napping on the sofa in my dressing room and forgot to brush my hair" way.  She may scratch inappropriately.  She will go to lunch with you and occasionally spit while she is excitedly making a point.  After lunch, you will notice some spinach from her salad is wedged in her teeth.  But you won't tell her.  You'll just think, "Oh, that Lakshmi..." and part ways.  Lakshmi will often have lipstick on her teeth.  You may have told her it was there and she wiped in a way that only spread it around.  

I guess you could say I picture Lakshmi looking somewhat like Ina Garten but much prettier and younger.  She's very bright, assertive and eloquent in such a way that merits a respectable radio news career.  Seeing as she works in radio, she has been pardoned her sloppy appearance.  She bathes regularly and looks fine.  There is simply something not quite put together that works only for radio.

The woman pictured at the beginning of this post is kind of what I am talking about (although not with crutches unless- god forbid- Lakshmi got hurt).  Not bad looking, not dirty or trashy looking just sloppy in a way that is not necessarily recognizable without further inspection.

This *could* be my Lakshmi...

Yes, I know this is Condoleeza Rice.  I want you to notice the emphatic and impassioned look on her face and the (very important) lipstick on her teeth.

Alas, I waited a long while before I looked the real Lakshmi up.  She looks nice and well put together.  

But maybe that's what she wants us to think.....






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