What if...

I know this is a retarded thing to ponder but hear me out.  What if bears had gambling problems?  There's a Thunder Valley Casino commercial with a giant bear socializing with people at the poker table.  At first, I was like "Great.  First hamsters to sell cars and now bears to get you to the casino."  

But what if bears really do like to gamble?  Can you imagine a bear going into a casino and blowing their savings at blackjack?  I don't know where bears would get money but I'm majorly suspending disbelief here.  Maybe that's one of the reasons why they live in the woods.  They have to be far away from casinos to avoid temptation to gamble.  Can you imagine encountering a bear in the woods, large and imposing with its teeth bared?  You pull out a handy dandy roulette wheel and the bear goes from aggressive to giddy.  You sit down and put twenty on black.

It would be scary to gamble with them.  I mean, what if they are sore losers?  What if your straight beats their two pairs and they don't want you to take the pot?  They could rip your head off with one blow.  It would be like Alice in Wonderland with everyone playing down to the queen for fear of death.

Bears have no interest in going to casinos, though.  That's good.  I don't want to see them there.  I live my life staying in bear-free zones.  It's just something amusing to think about.


1023 views and 1 response

  • Dec 7 2010, 7:49 PM
    Jeff Hammel responded:
    Its somewhat been lost to history, but bears are naturally compulsive gamblers, usually after they've been drinking. Think it was hunting that wiped out the California grizzly? Think again. Cheap peppermint schnapps and some poorly-played hands (well, paws) of quick draw poker. Those poor bastards!