The lovable rascal...
So I have this friend- well, sort of friend- and he just announced that he is getting married. I mean, it's Sass of all people. How did he find someone that wants to be his wife? I haven't seen him for a while. Maybe he has changed but I just can't imagine him being a loyal, attentive, monogamous husband.
I guess I should start from the beginning.
I met him nearly eight years ago. I was dating a guy named Jeff and he was Jeff's high school chum. I had a girlfriend coming into town and I told Jeff that I wouldn't go out with him unless he found a date for my friend. Lo and behold he got a friend to come into town just to go out with my friend. He was drastically different from Jeff. Bad jokes and puns pored out of his mouth constantly, which only really amused him. He was arrogant to the point of ridiculousness. Yet, I liked him for some inexplicable reason. He had this way of saying something fucked up and then chortling as if to say, "What? I'm a lovable rascal! Hey! I can get away with anything." The fact that he was so unapologetically a douchebag and proud of it made him weirdly likable. My friend and I deemed him Sass because he was about as tall and hairy as a sasquatch.
The next time the four of us hung out, we stayed for drinks at a local bar before going back to Jeff's house. On the walk home, it occurred to me that Jeff paid for all of our drinks and Sass had not so much offered to pay him back. Jeff shrugged and said that he expected such behavior from Sass. I confronted Sass about not paying for his and my friend's drinks. My friend was livid. Trying to salvage what was left of their date, Sass offered to reimburse Jeff, saying that it skipped his mind and that he had always planned on paying him back. He took out a twenty and made a big show that he was paying Jeff back. "It was closer to forty dollars." Jeff glared at him. Sass flashed him a look like, "Come on, man. Help me out." When it was clear that he wasn't backing down, Sass exaggeratedly handed him another twenty as if it did not matter to him.
It wasn't my friend's finest hour but she hooked up with him. Jeff and I sat in the other room for about forty minutes until my friend came out of the room saying, "Man, I am drunk." It wasn't too long before Sass came into the room with us fully clothed and ready to go. We encouraged him to stay because my friend was passed out in the bathroom. It turns out she warned him not to put her into a certain position or she would throw up. He did it anyway and she sure enough threw up. He begrudgingly went to the store to get her a Sprite and then took off, leaving his trashed date for us to deal with.
I saw him again every now and then after that incident. He would always come on to me hard, despite the fact that his friend liked me and I had a boyfriend. Sass is the kind of guy that has not met anyone he deemed as smart as he is, let alone a girl. I think I piqued his curiosity with my quick mind as well as my lack of interest in him.
In spite of everything, I like him. He's right. He is a lovable rascal. He does douche-y things and he knows they are but does them anyway because he can get away with it. He is also funny and a good conversationalist.
I assume he has been with the girl he is going to marry for a couple of years now. From what I have heard, he hasn't had a relationship that long term before. They have a pet together. They seem to like to do the same things. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't be harping on it so much. But Sass? Everything is all about him and I cannot foresee him not being selfish. He has an eye for girls and a loose moral code. If he could get away with it, I cannot imagine him not straying.
But people grow up. Maybe he has learned to actually take responsibility for things. Maybe this girl is keen enough to know what he is and wrangle him in. Maybe she is something really special that makes him not put himself first.
I don't know. We don't really know each other all that well and we knew each other in a specific time in each others' lives. Just because I am shocked that he is making that commitment doesn't mean that I don't wish him the best. Still, I can't help but imagining them standing at the altar and the minister asking her if she promises to love, honor and obey him for the rest of her life. She says a firm yes. The minister turns and asks Sass the same question. He flashes his characteristic shit eating grin, shrugs and says, "What? I'm a lovable rascal! Hey! I can get away with anything."